Monday, June 05, 2006

One is the loneliest number...

Sometimes, through the burden of my high standing as a blogger with more than 3 readers, I am required, for the betterment of society, to talk about subjects that aren't pleasant. I have received numerous emails requesting more information on this subject (read: zero, as usual), so I feel the time has come to address it. Here is an excerpt from one such email:

Jon, please help me understand something here.
You shave your head. You shave your face. You don't have your legs, but I'm sure
that will change once you decide to suck it up like the rest of us and stop
acting like a newbie. Gosh! Okay, sorry. Anyway, what's with the huge bushy
eyebrows (or, perhaps, eyebrow would be more appropriate)?!

Also, are you Sasquatch?

Shorn in Shenandoah

Well, Shorn, that's a very good question. Two, actually. No, I'm not Sasquatch, or big foot. My shoe size is about 9.5 US. Though, yes, I am remarkably hairy, I'm not as hairy as all that.

As for the brow, you are not alone in questioning my reasons for holding on to it. Let me paint a picture for you.

It is a hot day outside, and you're riding your bike. There is not even a whisper of a breeze, and you have been consuming water in large quantities to make up for it. You start to climb a steep hill. This hill is familiar to you, but nonetheless very hard. As you look up at the slope looming above you, sweat trickles down your forehead and into your eyes.

The burn! The stinging! The blurred vision! As if this climb on this hot day wasn't enough!

That scenario, alas, isn't of me. Though I often ride in heat, and even more often up hills, and even though I sweat more than most people I know, I don't get sweat in my eyes.

"How is this possible?" you gasp in horror. "Are you wearing one of those funky plastic rain-gutter sweatbands?" No, I have thick bushy eyebrows. You see, though hair may encumber me in many instances, my trusty eyebrows safely channel sweat away from my eyes and down the sides of my face.



tkp said...

Sweat gutter works great!!

Also, when you decide to join the ranks of real cyclists and shave those legs, you'll feel like a whole new man. Like going from briefs to boxers.

So to speak.

James Sharp said...

Love the brow.. and sport one myself, as you know.

Thanks for the laugh, I hope to get back to posting soon, right after I get some sleep.